I am crossing that line....

I periodically ramble about random things or abstract thoughts & mostly to myself… so I guess the line I’m crossing doesn’t matter too much (I actually can’t believe it has taken me this long to cross it). But yesterday as the news outlets have told us over and over again - a doctor was killed in Kansas. Yes, awful & shocking. But what is more awful and shocking is the things that people are saying…

Check out this link to a New York Times blog – people are practically praising this murder…

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/01/did-the-murder-of-dr-tiller-work/


My stomach ties in knots….to respond does one appeal to their emotional side – by telling a compelling story of abandoned child, or the mother whose life is put at risk to give birth to a fetus that is not expected to live more than a few days? Or perhaps you go the rational route of statistics – quick searches tell you there are over 500,000 children in the foster care system, or that 1.35 million U.S. children are homeless on any given night & 42% of homeless children are under the age of five. (I don’t think I can accept that any response is a lot cause – because what kind of world would this be?)

Sure, this happens for a lot of reasons but anyone who has picked up a paper in the last year is no stranger to the expenses & complications of our healthcare system – getting any type of birth control can be extremely difficult & expensive. Not to mention the lack of comprehensive sex education that leaves millions of teenagers across the country unable to make educated decisions about these things. These are just two of many factors in our society that lead to alarming high rate of pregnancies by women who are not emotionally, financially, or physically able for some reason to give a child the proper care they need.

I think for just about any reason – financial, emotional, physical, etc….if a woman decides that she is not able to turn over her body for 9 months, altering how she functions each minute of the day for those 9 months…AND then how she lives for the next (at least) 18 years of her life to properly love, care and look after a child – then it is her choice to not have a baby. Short of committing a crime – there is no other choice in our society that can dictate how you live your life for that many years - 18 years is at least a quarter of your life & in all reality its much longer than those years. So why aren’t more people outraged at the thought of taking that choice away? The decision to have children is a wonderful and beautiful thing but if it’s not something you can or want to do then its hell & the real victim is that child who has to suffer through that life. Yes, adoption is an option but its still a life changing event that is the woman’s choice. A fetus has no memory, no feelings, no consciousness… these are things that make it life you are not killing a life if you allow and woman & her doctor decide what is best for her. (& the science of the debate is ridiculous standard that is ever changing - regardless of science if the fetus cannot physically survive on its own outside the womb it is not murder… so that should be your cut off point). And when it comes to the question of health or life of mother – clearly it’s the mother’s choice.


And I am continually amazed at the anti choice (to the play semantic game) people’s utter lack of concern for the quality of life… they only seem to care up to that first breath – then your own your baby. Is it fine if the child starves or dies from pneumonia because lack of food, housing, medical care? Child care for an infant can range from $4,000 a year to $10,000 a year… if you make minimum wage you make less than $14,000 before taxes…meaning a significantly large portion of your money goes just pay for your child to have care while you work – then you get to factor in the housing, bills, and food.

I could go on and on illustrating this but the point is if anti choice people put as much money, effort, & time into taking care of our children, low income families and single mothers, or in fighting for good affordable healthcare for all, or compressive sex education as they do into the tactics to create fear & violence they would save a lot more lives without murdering anyone….

Words seem to fall off my tongue

at a slightly slower rate than the snow seems to fall which is perhaps why I can’t seem to find them. So this is my excuse for all those phone calls I have not returned, 12 unheard voicemails on my phone, 32 emails still marked unread waiting for a reply, the lapse in dates on this page,




I know, I know it makes no sense… especially since the events of the past 8 months have vigorously shaken the glass ball each time it seemed the little white flecks were about to settle……I have lived in 3 places, played a role in a historic election, painted many walls, traveled over sees, moved by the perspective and kindness of new people, watched old friends fade into the past, learned the true effects of the addict’s compulsion, inspired by a strangers expression and crippled by the expression of my family…. So why am I still at a loss for words?