It almost has to rain....

To make me stop. Summer its finally here, well it still likes to sleep in the morning. But sandals are out, socks & scarves are gone, and I don’t want to waste a second of the warm sunny weather.



I have done a lot of new things this past week and half:
I bought a red shirt (I realized I didn’t own a single red shirt)
I helped dissect a cow eyeball
I baked a huge chocolate chip cake and wrote on it in icing (it kicks American cookies Company’s ass)
I got rid of about half…well almost about half the things I have.
I visited the autopsy room so I could pick a human heart, lung, stomach, brain, and some organ I didn’t recognize…..hello vegetarian.
I drank my first ginger ale….like a subtle version of mountain dew.
I cooked skate fish…didn’t turn so well.
The list could go on, but the point is if it hadn’t started raining I would have never gotten around to picking up anything off my floor (which is where everything I had touched was) and I wouldn’t have stopped to watch Stranger than Fiction. Good movie but I was expecting more.

Anyone please…. I need books. Well not the actual book, just the titles and perhaps the authors. Yes, I know you are thinking how could I have time to read if I can’t even pick things off the floor, but I have an hour commute to work and I am reading a book every three days.


PS All I need to survive the summer is an espresso rocket shake and now I can get them in my kitchen instead of the metro.

The countdown has begun....

I am leaving New York. I am going somewhere warmer. A place where I will never have to hear “I hope it warms up so it will snow.” Its funny in my time hear I have learned a lot, sort like I had a mini little lifetime compacted into a year and half. I am sad to leave. I have a great neighborhood and I have made a lot of great friends. And I know part of leaving is to leave those people; there are probably only a handful of people that I will stay connected with. Perhaps, they replace the friends I have lost touch with from Austin. I am also sad to leave because everything can be an adventure here (even when you wish you could just do laundry or buy cereal without the adventure)
and I don’t know if that can be recreated. Or perhaps it is a mindset and I can recreate it for myself where ever I end up. Well despite the sadness that always comes with letting go and loss…..I am really excited. I have one more summer in New York (the best time to be here) and then I am embarking a new type of adventure. Where I will go I don’t know and won’t know until just before I get placed there. So I can’t plan or even think about what life will be like after August (for the next two years) which forces me to be present in just this moment..... which changes every second.

I didn't mean to take credit where credit wasn't due, the pictures are courtesy of Mr. Blynn. It seemed apropriate to use pictures of a visitor to the city because that is what I have become in way. And I guess i assumed that Mr. Blynn is also the only person who reads this so he would know... :)

The socks have come off....

Maybe a little too soon but I just can’t take it anymore. So I think there is only one person that reads this besides me, so I am not sure why I feel the need to write here again but do I need a reason for the things I do?
In the past few months I have learned some major life lessons.
1. No one is any more an expert than I. Well, atleast for the most part. That’s not to say that I know better than my doctor why my throat hurts or that I understand the interest rates on different savings plan more than a banker, but I do mean that even the doctor doesn’t know exactly what is happening all the time. (the doctors I have met with recently would disagree, they seem to think that because they are doctors they know how to run an adolescent education program better than anyone despite the fact that all their experience with adolescents is to diagnose their aliments of their body) Everyone has areas that they are more familiar with thus know a little more but that doesn’t make them an expert. In fact more and more I feel like nothing really works the way it is supposed to (inside the school system where I use to work or inside the hospital where I now work) and people often are often just making their best guess at what to do next. Maybe for most people this is obvious and simple, but it took me taking on a job that required me to hire, manage people, create things from scratch to realize that everyone is just trying and no one knows for sure about anything. With this realization I the world has a whole new spectrum of colors.
2. With the world of possibilities I also realized that everything you see as your life can shatter in a split second. If you are inside the kitchen doing your own thing you have no idea that the baseball is headed full force towards your stain glass window. While those on the outside might feel the seconds slow down to hours as the ball is making its way towards your window, they have no way of telling you or warning you. You simply cannot and won’t know until the window shatters. I guess all you do is at least hope that is a warm and beautiful day that is suddenly invading your personal space.
3. And lastly the most important thing I have learned in the past few months is something that doesn’t translate into words very well. The best I can do is relate it to a metaphor that I have used (with a select few) my whole life. I woke up one day this past month and realized that my glass box only had three sides. Not four. I can step right on in or out as I see fit. And no one else can see the difference. And once I cut the strings to the past I realized that to step out of the box changed nothing except how I perceived and related to the world (and people in it).


These three things may all be simple but to realize them has had a large impact on me and my relation to the world……and what I want to do in the world. Or perhaps I just thrive best on the verge of total change. I have applied for a new type of job. If I get it I will move…to where who knows. If I don’t get it. I still might move……..I am sick of living in a place where I feel thankful for 40 degrees in the month of April.

A few things here and there...

Not too many great adventures. Though i did go to Ohio to visit my family.
My dad, Ty and I were run away bandits...we stole the target shopping cart. Don't worry it was returned, but Ty thought it was quite an adventure.



Halloween.... Was GREAT!
I think i should carve all my pumpkins at bars....this is the best i have ever done.


I didn't have any trick-or-treaters, but i did get to decorate the local bar.
Spiderwebs, balloons, and yes the outline of dead bodies everywhere.
Who's that girl?















That would be none other than Nikki Finn!!!




The local bookstore had a benefit. They had several readers, a band, a singer.

But this guy and his daughter were the best. Not only did he read a "found concrete" poem but they also turned the reading into a brief sing along. I keep waiting for Mr. Rogers to walk through the door.

WINTER IS HERE....

Ignore the timings...last week, this week, blah blah...i start writing and don't get around to finishing until a week later. Picture aren't working again.

I went out to Jersey to give rock climbing a try. It was fun. It was a little hard for me to get use to just leaning back to come down, you really have to trust the person handling the rope. But I did and it was quite an adrenalin rush. I am definitely going to do that more. We had a little six year old friend along. It was both of our first times to rock climb…we totally bonded and coached each other through the fear. We were climbing at one of the base camps for Project USE…I can’t wait to work for them and become a pro at all this outdoor stuff….if things work out.

On my way home from rock climbing I got a message from my dad. He was stuck in Jersey for the night due to a missed flight. We totally lived it up! I got to take him out to eat at one of my old chef’s restaurant where we were totally taken care of. And boy did we live it up, we were out and about on the streets until 5 am. It was super great.


Also last week I went with Chrissy (Dave’s sister- she is living at my apartment for a little while) to the Honorary Title. It was a hilarious and great show. As you looked across the crowd everyone was swaying, not to the music or because they had all had too much to drink, but because the boat was rocking. Ohh no need to read that again, they played on a boat. We coasted down the Hudson, getting all the great sites of New York from the water…WHILE THE BAND PLAYED. I was joking about a storm rolling in while we were waiting to get on and sure enough it happened. And it was all pretty funny (watching everyone struggle to stand) until it came time to get off. We had to walk about 7 avenue blocks to get to the subway in the pouring rain. We decided to pop into Mike’s Pizza Place on the way. That story could be a novel all by itself. This lady and her brother were regulars there. When she kept trying to draw sympathy from him because we were soaking wet and he offered his us his delivery service…he could deliver boyfriends…any color we want. Then it ended with Mike, (Mr Pizza himself), giving us an umbrella to use. I swear all those rumors about New Yorkers being rude is untrue….how many times have you walked into a business and be given an umbrella by a perfect stranger? I rest my case.

This past weekend was full of a different kind of adventure. It was my first time on a bus since nightmarish trip home from Virginia. And it was a very pleasant 2 hour ride to Atlantic City. Well at least until we got there and the bus driver turned around to ask direction to the casino. After many failed turns she got off the bus to ask for directions and I decided to get off then too. With in 10 minutes I was not only at the Taj Mahal but I already had my stuff in the locker room and was diving into the swimming pool. The whole trip was a little sur-real. The Rooms, food, basically everything besides the Casino was completely free because we were part of “Marti’s” party. Marti is a guy I vaguely know from the neighborhood. He is a high rolling electrician. He gambles so much money that they comp his bill. And at one point he was apparently down $60,000. But ohh don’t worry he ended up coming out ahead. He is a little out there, too. He told some crazy stories with him as the James Bond hero, except of course he thinks his are better because he believes they are real. The first night in the casino I spend a lot of time watching the tables. Then the second night I played. And thanks to an amazingly friendly new Yorker (once again) who was threw down money for me when my money was gone I was able to develop quite a strategy. I can’t wait to go back (maybe in a year or two when I can throw away a little money again). I also got to walk on the beach and put my feet in the freezing ocan. It was nice despite the jelly fish. And I wasn’t only there in style. I came home in one of the 5 limos bringing the troops back to Brooklyn. It was quite a weekend.

Alright short. Yes. I also went to the Say Anything show at Irving Plaza. A great venue and show. He so dramatic it’s no wonder he breaks down. Luckily for me though this was the first day of the ‘seal the deal’ tour. AND it was super great!


I also went to the indigo girls show...interesting, but it was at radio city. It is a great place to see! There were people on the street just trying to GIVE AWAY tickets, so if anyone visits you should swing by and look for free tickets.
I am going to visit my dad, mom, Ty and my brother in ohio this weekend. I might be coming back with some news. We will see how it goes.

I am still alive... pictures to prove it!

So I have been really busy at work, which is the only place with internet so I have totally slacked off. Now I have reached the point where I have put it off for so long I am overwhelmed by all the things that I could say.

Here is picture of me and my coworkers taking a picture for my supervisors birthday o send to the absent coworker to show him he was missing out on the party (using the function on the camera that only picks up a single color)


So maybe i am going overboard with pictures, but who knows when I will be able to do this again.





I had a brief visit to Dallas several weeks ago. It was good to be back in the hot weather. I never knew how much I could miss it. Stella came down to visit me, (yeah cheers to Stella!). And we had the oh so important event of taking Ty to the fair. Who would want to miss that?





Random thought: I hit a point a few weeks ago where I realized that I might not be ready to leave New York. A shocking realization because up to that point I was planning my exit.


I went to my first New York protest. Well, before the protest I went to this address I was given to help make posters for the protest. It was organized by this huge organization so I expected lots of people working to pull things together. My first surprise came when the address was this solid metal door with no handles, just a bell with a sign “ring once and BE PATIENT”. After several minutes the door slowly opens (a scene similar to the door of the emerald city palace opening for Dorthy). There is this rather large man with crazy hair and a vest. Pointing at me “what you want?”. I fumbled and mumbled my words, which thankfully were the right words because he pointed to the back of the hall. I chuckle and go where he indicated. There I am on this old rickety freight elevator with this crazy guy who doesn’t use many words but he does make the elevator move. As we pass floor after floor with graffiti painted numbers of the floor I close my eyes straining to remember how tall the building looked from the outside...and I didn’t remember it being anywhere near this tall. I started imagining front page headlines of what might happen (a great way to laugh at borderline sketchy situations) just as he stopped the elevator. The door opened into an industrial room that was completely lit by Chinese Lanterns, it was pretty cool, but there were only 4 people. And it was quite a group. There was the 21 year old who kept talking about how she is an engaged musician. A mid sixties man who kept stepping on his soap box with borderline conspiracy theories. Then there was the forty-ish women who was amazingly knowledgeable about what seemed like almost every activist movement in the history of her life. And of course the one reliable sole, the quite lady who stay busy at work…she actually gets paid for her work. It was quite entertaining. Flash forward four days…it was a March to the UN where good ol’ President Bush was speaking. It was a lot smaller than I expected, but it entertaining all the same. I have some really good pictures that I am once again going to try and get them posted on here. There Mathew with his 5 foot, 15 pound, hummer rigged up on his chest. He had quite the monologue to go with it.


There were a few people who came from Texas and a guy that came from Alaska, I bet he was sorely disappointed with the turnout. While we were waiting to march a truck cheered us on by honking, big mistake. It turns out it was a no honking zone (who knew those existed in the heart of Manhattan) and the police escorting the march relieved to return to their real duty, even if for a brief moment, gave him a ticket. The march began and end without creating anymore adventures than the walk itself. But once the destination there was a few people speaking. My favorite told a story about a monkey crouched next to the river. The monkey spent hours pulling fish out of the river. When someone finally asked him what he was doing the monkey said he was saving the fish from drowning. Brilliant, huh? (Kind of reminds me of what the Peace Corps does in Micronesia, but at least we taught those kids to sing you are my sunshine, right Harlan?) Then Jesse Jackson spoke, I am not a big fan of his. But I am huge fan of these lovely ladies!!
















Then the next morning I had a community meeting for this nonprofit I volunteer with. I have been working on this schools campaign trying to get legislation adopted throughout the state of New York that would require schools to be built in a more environmentally friendly way that also creates a more healthy learning environment. No I am not preaching to you, but I made this bulletin that I ended up having to present, unexpectedly to this room of people. It was pretty exciting. Though I do sort of feel like it would be more beneficial to work on improving the quality of teachers and teacher training than the buildings, but I guess you have to start somewhere.


Other Random New York moments. I met with a friend for a drink, given that its New York (and not cold yet) we pedaled our wheels to the bar. When we were leaving this guy rode up on his bike and said “hey, anyone going this way…. we could ride together?” We both kind of laughed and he said “ohh, you girls are together, or no, well, anyways… come on does one of you want to ride with me?” It was quite funny. I am seeing that it doesn’t translate well into words. I guess it was just surprising because he was a just a young guy on his bike, nothing crazy or unusual seeming about him. But perhaps he just rides around looking for girls with bikes so he can try out his pick up line. (But it doesn’t even compete with my drunken pick up from last spring though… I had taken the train home after a few drinks at like 2 or 3 in the morning. I was feeling too tired (or maybe a drunk) to walk home from the train. Without thinking, I asked this guy who was carrying his bike out the train if I he could give me a ride home on his handle bars…)

Last weekend I went to the beach. I know to you Texas Folk that ain’t no thing because it is probably at least in the mid eighties there, and the gulf is comparable to bath water. Well here it’s a hot day if we touch 80 and we’ve seen a lot more of the sixties than I’d like to for September. And the water here, is never really warm….often times when slowly wading in I have flash backs to good old Barton Springs where at least I can take the shock all at once. So there I was, on this cloudy day, one of 4 people on the entire beach, I suited up in a wetsuit that went all the way to my ankles and I waded into the water. The waves were huge and it was freezing but totally great! After a short while, I had to look down at my feet to know I still had them. Once I was out I couldn’t get the wet suit off because my fingers couldn’t grip anything. I am determined that I will have one more trip to the beach before what I was told is going to be an awful winter sets in.

By the way…I saw the movie Science of Sleep. It is really good. I came out feeling like I was stoned or something. I kept watching people in the subway as though I expected them to do something crazy.


Okay my time borrowing this computer from a friend is almost up....so i hope people read and enjoy...forgive the the lack of editing.....no time for that this time around...come on I got pictures on this one! If i don't write again for a month its because it got too cold here and I froze to death!

Just another week.

Despite my strep I still have A few funny things from last week: I played the funniest trick on my mom. I send her an email to my mom with a picture (check it out at this link http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1975/1805/1600/IMG_4813.jpg ) the caption read “me and my new boyfriend”. I never thought my mom would really buy it, but ohh boy did she. She flipped out. It was hilarious, she was ready to come and get me right then. It was the best joke I have ever played.
I went with Jamie to see a show on Broadway. It was called Kiki and Herb. It was sort of like Eddy Izard meets his piano playing lover and not only does he (dressed on the most amazing she outfit) crack jokes about the state of the world but he also sings songs….the best was the bright eyes song. It was pretty funny, though it lasted a little too long.
I went to one of my favorite places in my old neighborhood…the tea house. I was going to nurse my strep throat. Me and Sonya debated over the 50 some odd types of tea….I decided on this tropical one with coconut. But really it should have been called Hawaiian Tropic or Panama Jack. If it hadn’t been dark I really might have started rubbing the tea on my skin. But my throat is all better, maybe I will skip the dr next time and just drink the lotion. I have also been eating lots of ice cream. This week Adam and I went to a famous ice cream place under the Brooklyn Bridge. I have seen people standing in lines down the dock, I was expecting something great. Luckily there was no line because I was a little disappointed….all they only have is choc, choc chip, vanilla, and strawberry. All those suckers standin’ in line when they could have taste bud explosion at the Ben and Jerry’s up the street.
Also, I am super duper excited…I just found out that Moonshine, a block and half from my house, has Lonestar for just $3. It is kind of a strange crowd there, but they do have peanuts to go with the beer. I was feeling lucky so I asked if they had peanut butter pie, but they don’t so I will still dream about the Austin Moonshine.
I saw Little Miss Sunshine. It was hilarious and you all know i am picky about funny movies. See it!! Its great.
I also went to my last free summer concert (its already almost winter weather here..sucks)…it was the Walkmen, which wasn’t a great show, but how many times have you seen a band in a pool. In Williamsburg there is a huge pool that was shut down a few years ago and now they use it for other things. Concerts where stand in the empty Olympic size pool drink beer, eat hot dogs, and play on a slip and slide (well only during the 2 summer days that it is hot enough) Theyalso have “hipster dodge ball” in the pool. We were going to create a Texas team and wear cutoff boots, and hats as our costume, but we backed out when we saw how vicious and serious these games were. Dying by dodge ball in the pool is no way to go.

Working on keepin it short.

My First paid vacation...come and gone

It begin by waking at the ungodly hour of 430 a.m to catch a plane in the neighboring state of Jersey (its a 20 min drive, well 30 with the 5 am bar traffic….and yes people were revisiting their dinner out the car windows). Due to the sudden fear of liquids (including soap in the terminal bathrooms)I didn’t make my flight. But the hours weren’t without entertainment, thanks to this character who going on a bird watching trip. He was decked out and ready….had Gilligan hat and fanny pack; a trip that might even cost him his job. A shame, since most everyone was missing not only their flight but also the next flight. My ingenuity was at its best,(surprising given the hour) I left the line to “check my bag” a.k.a. reserve one of the two spots left (as informed by the airline person on the phone) on the next flight. I totally patted myself on the back for that one.
So seven hours later than expected I arrived in Minot, North Dakota. A place everyone has been or will be going soon. My introduction was bachelor-ette party…. a few stories there but nothing tops the self made porn by the maid-of-honor’s sister’s boyfriend. It was more than a porn….it involved wires, lights and a razor….and the rest is up to you. There is nothing like being a city girl on a real farm for a change…where I learned (ever so briefly) about: getting sunflower seeds from the flower, swathing, combines, grain bins, etc. I ate peas right out of the ground….they had this wonderful dirt flavor. I had a little crop dusting ride, well really just flying, but it was more fun than any rollercoaster. I rode a motorcycle (to the town of Overly, population of about 7). After quite the breath taking experience caused by the return of an old decrease in lung capacity, I managed through slight frustration to get an inhaler. Before I got my own I borrowed one from Rhonda. She is quite a lady. She thinks that smoking pot works just as well as an inhaler. She knows this because her son in California… who got shot in the head (or was it the one running from the law) can get pot (not only in smoking form but also in peanut butter, popcorn, and candy bars of many varieties. She says that candy bars are the best for public transportation.) NoDak was great.
Then Kirsten and I loaded into the jeep for a trip to Oregon. I was pretty pumped for the adventures through Montana, Idaho, and Washington. But on the sly it turned into a pedal to the metal haul ass to Oregan kind of trip. I did see lots of things that I would like to explore (maybe the next time when it’s on my way)…hots springs on reservation, the town of Walla Walla, driving along the gorge. We did stop for few hours in Missoula, Montana. Long enough for me to buy an amazing (though completely impractical as I learned on my trip home) old green suitcase for a $1. But it was quite the conversation piece in the airport; it lead me to meeting this guy who worked at a nonprofit in Nashville- which I am going to look into.
Portland is beautiful. A good place to celebrate getting old. There are a few places I learned about that I will have to go back and visit (such as Voodoo Dounuts – apparently they have bacon donuts and they used to have Nyquil donuts- who doesn’t want to check that out?) I spent a few days hanging in Portland. We went to the 'coast' one day and it was beautiful...but really cold. We even saw a forest fire. The next day I flew back to NYC. But I didn’t come home empty handed; I brought the ever so lovely strep throat home with me (see what I mean about getting old, only old people get sick twice in a 2 week period). Even with the chills, fever, and swelling throat, I met this guy Adam on the plane. He lives in Connecticut (its about a 20 min drive from NYC) and he gave me ride home. Halleluiah!! There you have it. I will work on keeping the blogs shorter but equally as eventful from here on out….and come on give me some comments.
(I have pictures but this computer can seem to read the disk.....bummer)

Catching up to speed....Blogging

So here I go, attempting to capture snapshots of my life….maybe creating a false sense of worth, but regardless why not try. The intensity of a moment……… carried on for over a week without ever slowing; the reason why I love New York.

It started with a spontaneous trip to New Hampshire. That’s right New Hampshire…I wondered what was there too. I had never even considered it as place to go or even not go for that matter. A rental car in Jersey for a whopping 29 buckaroos a day. (Driving was fun) Due to the spontaneity of the trip we had no CD’s for the car, so we bought one album that was to be the sound track of the 5 hour drive, luckily for us the CD came with a free compilation that was really good (opening with a new Muse song…the ironic beginning and ending of my week) which came in quite handy as the drive was extended by hours into the traffic and rain…(but we did get to see a rainbow). I won’t bore you with the details, but I camped outside among the trees, made smores, swam in the lake, made soup in a stone pot on the fire, and met a group of really amazing people (they all worked in Project USE together, which I will tell about more later, because I am totally going to do it NEXT.) Three days later I returned to my very quaint neighborhood on the edge of this large city.

Monday is free movie night in Bryant Park. It’s not really about the movie; in fact I usually leave as the movie has barely gotten under way. But Jamie, the bartender at the local bar and a super hilarious person, goes all out for this. He makes it a feast of food and wine for the royal family. Then when we are there he befriends anyone in the vicinity, which is why the number of people (and the number of wine bottles grow exponentially every week). It is quite an experience… hundreds of people tipsy in the park watching old movies.

Tuesday, on a whim, I went to Jersey. I have known now for several weeks that the sandy shores of Jersey are quite amazing (I have even attempted surfing), but on this trip I learned a whole new side of amazing. Brace yourself. At night, when you swim in the ocean …….it glows. Yup that’s right. I was a little scared to go in that night because the water is no bathtub gulf of Mexico…its cold…really cold, colder than Barton Springs. But as I was tiptoeing in and noticed these amazing glowing bubbles that followed me through the water. I can totally see how Edna Pontellier was unable to resist the lure of the water.. That night I slept outside and went for a freezing cold morning swim before the ungodly hour of 6 am. But if one has to be at work by 730 am there is no better way to wake up than in the ocean…even if that means putting your work clothes on over your sandy, salt water incrusted self in the car while chowing down Duncan Donuts.

So after very little sleep I go to work at my school by 730 am and then I have to go straight to work at the restaurant…Blaue Gans. Sounds like it would be another terrible 16 hour workday, but this was a pivotal day. It was my last. I finally quit the restaurant.(which is part of the reason that I chose this web address because kids used to call me headuh, then the Germans at the restaurant called me headuh, and I felt the need to keep it alive somehow) I worked my shift and then turned in my locker keys. Though I might miss having Burenwurst sausage every now and then, it was a very satisfying moment.

Thursday I went to the Muse show at Hammerstein Ballroom (which is a rather amazing place, large but with a quaint feel). And I was exhausted and hungry (understandable since I had worked 16 hours the day before and having less than 5 hours of sleep a night for the past week) as I first waited for my friend, then as I waited in line, then as I waited for the first band to come… and get off, then as I waited a grueling 45 minutes, packed like baking sardines near the front of the stage, for Muse. I didn’t think I would make it. I was loosing steam fast. But once they started playing I was blown away! It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen or maybe felt. Now if only I could have been the glowing ocean while watching them play…I could have died completely content. I lost my voice, I was exhausted. But it was really great. No words do justice to the greatness of the show.

So there you have it, a snap shot of my week, a very eventful week. . ..(also I almost died yesterday. I was riding my bike and was almost plowed over by a huge blue van). But don’t worry there should be more to come because on Saturday I leave for another adventure.